And So It Begins...AGAIN!

I finally am ready to do this! I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired! I look awful and feel even worse! I am at my heaviest weight ever! This is so depressing to me, which is part of the reason I'm in this mess in the first place! Time to stop that downward spiral and claw my way back out of that pit. I did so good eating healthier and exercising in 2013. I was so proud of myself for losing 38.5 pounds between May and October and even keeping it off through the holidays. I felt much better than I had in years. I was also enjoying life! That summer I climbed up and down ladders on an aircraft carrier and hiked up and down hilly terrain and mountainous stairs at the San Diego Zoo. I bought a new swimsuit and went to the beach in Galveston with Jacob and the youth group! I took the boys to waterparks and even rode some of the slides! I went on cave tours in Tennessee and rode rides at Dollywood that I would not have even fit in the seats of four months earlier! In October I did the Race For the Cure 5K. I planned to walk it but signed up as a runner so I could get the timing chip. I finished in a little over an hour which was pretty respectable I thought. I also enjoyed camping with the twins' Cub Scout Pack later that month at Bovay Scout Ranch. 

But my biggest accomplishment was doing the 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk with Jaime in November. I never would have dreamed I was capable of walking as much as I did. I'm a little diappointed that I was not able to complete the entire thing like she did. But judging by the reaction of the doctor who examined my foot after lunch on Day 1 and just shook his head when I told him my foot had started hurting in MAY and then asked me why I was even there, I could tell he was amazed I had been able to walk the 10 miles I did that morning. WAIT!! WHAT?!?!?! How did I even walk 10 miles in one day when I'd never walked over 4-5 ever in my life that I can recall? He taped my foot and sent me back to camp and told me to take it easy the rest of the weekend. Well on Day 2 I did that. I'd walk a leg, then catch a ride to the next stop, walk the next, then catch a ride. I managed about 8 miles that day!  But on Day 3 I was determined to walk it all and I did. I was the last one in the group from lunch until about 1 mile from the finish line. The lady on the escort bike was my constant companion. She'd keep me updated on the time and mileage we had to go. If I fell off the pace and wouldn't make it to the finish by a certain time she would call for the sweep van to drive me in. I was NOT going to let that happen. I kept on trekking and even bypassed the last rest stop to save time. I got ahead of some of the stragglers and caught up to a girl who was walking with her leg in a brace. She and I limped along together for the last few miles, getting passed by everyone else until we were the final duo. When we got to the fairgrounds there were a group of ladies hanging around waiting to be the last ones to cross the finish line. Being the last one in was kind of a big deal and I was NOT going to give that up after being dead last for most of the afternoon! My leg brace buddy and I had earned that honor. I told my escort that really wasn't fair so she made it happen. We all linked arms with my escort between me and the other group of gals and the other girl on my right. Just before crossing the finish line, she turned me loose and their group crossed over ahead of us leaving the two of us to cross together alone. My only disappointment was that Jaime wasn't at the finish to see us come in and take our picture. She had assumed I had gotten swept up in the van and was looking for me inside the convention center. Our schedule had our route down as covering 18 miles that day! And I did it! 36 out of 60 miles isn't too shabby for a 46 1/2 year old overweight mother of 3 with a bum foot!

I managed to get through Thanksgiving and Christmas by just eating sensibly although I had stopped tracking my food before the 3-Day. I'd weigh here and there and my weight would fluctuate up and down but never by more than 5 pounds. I was so proud of myself! In February, inspired by The Biggest Loser tv show, I joined Planet Fitness and planned to go work-out at least 3 times a week. I managed quite a few workouts and enjoyed going. Then right after my birthday I hit a brick wall. Some personal issues slapped me in the face and put me into a bout of depression. I quit caring and went back to my old habits, self-medicating my wounded soul with comfort food, soda, and sitting on the couch with tv and social media as my constant companions. I eventually started to heal mentally and emotionally but the thought of getting back on that healthy lifestyle track was just too overwhelming for me to handle. I kept making excuses about why NOW wasn't a good time to start and eventually that turned into two-and-a-half years later and here I am.

NOW is the time! We just left Jacob at college on August 20, he and the twins started classes on the 22nd. David and Tate are in 5th grade, their last year in elementary school. James and I just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary this past Thursday and I am a little over 5 months away from turning 50. None of us are getting any younger. With Jacob away at school it made me realize how quickly the years slip away and we only have 8 more years before the twins are gone too. I want to be able to enjoy these years and do things with them that will create memories we will cherish. I cannot physically do the things I want and need to do right now as heavy and unhealthy as I am. I am also concerned about the boys' weight. They've already been teased at school and made fun of. Next year in middle school they will be with a whole new group of kids who do not know them and that bullying could become even worse. I was that kid and I don't want that to happen to them. If I start now by changing my eating habits, cooking healthy meals, and doing activities together as a family we will all become more healthy and hopefully drop some pounds along the journey.

Today I made a huge purchase that I hope will be a great source of motivation. I had received a pretty nice inheritance from my grandmother and instead of just piddling it away on little things, I wanted to invest in something nice that our family could enjoy together. I think Charline would be very pleased that I bought us a Camper. James and I are already getting excited talking about the places we can go and visit. The catch is, that we need to be in better shape to enjoy most of these activities. And so it begins!

I also decided that as long as I was going to change my lifestyle I might as well try to earn a little money for it. I found the DietBet website back in March and had been wanting to start one but never really had the money or the commitment to follow through. So I'm using another bit of my inheritance money to bet on myself! I joined a 6-month Transformer challenge, and a 4 Week Kickstarter challenge. I'm investing in myself so that I can become the mother and wife I am supposed to be. My family deserves so much more than I've been capable (or willing) to provide for far too long.